May 16, 2023

shock:

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all year. all damn year we’ve been in constant battle with our middle schoolers who are endlessly determined to make this sign say ‘hoe’. every time we fix it by the end of the day it’s back to this. they never ruin the Phoenix and they never rip the whole thing off. somehow this entire school year we haven’t been able to catch them. every time I see it I have to pretend like it isn’t the funniest recurring bit in this stupid world

(via elfwreck)

May 16, 2023
brightlotusmoon:
“ender-the-intern:
“airyairyaucontraire:
“autisticexpression:
“whencartoonsruletheworld:
““[ID: Screenshot of tumblr tags reading “please op i am desperate for the context.” End ID.]
”
Sure, here ya go:
• Lord George Gordon Byron was...

brightlotusmoon:

ender-the-intern:

airyairyaucontraire:

autisticexpression:

whencartoonsruletheworld:

image

[ID: Screenshot of tumblr tags reading “please op i am desperate for the context.” End ID.]

Sure, here ya go:

  1. Lord George Gordon Byron was an English poet in the early 1800s.
  2. He wrote several narrative poems that influenced the gothic genre and was a HUGE fucking slut. HUGE. This bisexual mess slept with so many fucking people it was insane, no gender was safe. Unfortunately that “no one was safe” mentality did not work out well for him bc there were a LOT of rumors that he impregnated his half-sister.
  3. His only child from a legitimate marriage was from his wife, Lady Anne Isabella Noel Byron, who straight-up left him after a year. You know how divorce was uncommon in the 1800s? His wife was just so fed up with him that she did not care and left when her daughter was five weeks old.
  4. This daughter was named Ada and would become known as Ada Lovelace.
  5. Byron signed the separation papers and then left the country to have sex elsewhere and would later die when Ada was eight.
  6. During that time if a couple divorced, usually the Dad would get full custody, so just in case he tried anything Lady Byron made sure to play the devoted and overattentive mother.
  7. Lady Byron was absolutely paranoid that her daughter would become an insane gothic mess like her dad so she decided the only thing to do would be to make sure she did not become a Poet™. So she heavily encouraged Ada’s interests in science and mathematics.
  8. Around the 1830-40s, Ada met Charles Babbage through a mutual friend and he showed her his prototype for a mechanical calculator. She got absolutely obsessed with this machine and began helping him out with it to the point where her notes on it became more extensive than his.
  9. She also added notes to a translation of a paper on this engine that is considered to be the first published algorithm.
  10. These notes on the engine and translation became the basis for computer programming.
  11. She’s considered The First Computer Programmer™

So, because Lord Byron was a little slut and his wife wanted their daughter to Not Be, we now have to deal with tumblr discourse. Thank you and goodnight.

Vampire fiction and science fiction as we know it today also exist as a direct result of his friends being stuck in a cabin with him during a storm so there’s that as well. Hot vampires and sci-fi nerds are also his fault.

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She was one of the people stuck in the cabin (well I think it was more of a 19th century Airbnb that the group of friends rented for a holiday that was then ruined by the weather) with him. Since they couldn’t do any outdoor activities they decided to write spooky stories and read them together instead. She wrote Frankenstein, kicking off the science fiction genre, and Dr John Polidori wrote… I’ve forgotten the title and it might just be “The Vampire” or “Vampyre” or something like that but anyway he did that. Dracula is much more influential now but that was the first big vampire novel. Byron didn’t create either genre but arguably motivated their creation by being an annoying horndog so they wanted to stay in their rooms writing instead of hang out with him.

It’s also worth mentioning that the summer they were stuck in that cabin is referred to as the Year Without Summer and was directly caused by the eruption of Mount Tambora in Indonesia the year before. It is also blamed for failed crops and mass famine on almost every continent, and the explosion could be heard something like 1600 miles away. The eruption of Tambora and the subsequent lack of summer worldwide is estimated to have killed anywhere from 100,000 to many millions of people. If all the deaths from diseases such as cholera and typhoid that found perfect conditions to spread rapidly during the famines are included, the total death toll could be estimated around 40 million people worldwide, which would put it on par with world war one.

TL;DR: Byron being a goth slut led directly to his daughter inventing computer programming, and being stuck in a cabin with him during crazy weather patterns caused by the largest volcanic eruption in modern history on the other side of the globe directly led to the invention of the genres of science fiction and gothic horror

Tumblr dragging Lord Byron is similar to its dragging of Ea Nasir, but more verbose and maundering and blunt and intense, which also describes Lord Byron.

(via celamity)

May 16, 2023

jumpingjacktrash:

homunculusgirldick:

pepsimansthickjuicymeatyschlong:

demolitionwizards666:

  • if it sucks hit da bricks <- litany against sunk cost
  • take it easy but take it <- litany against burnout/apathy cycle
  • fuck it we ball <- litany against perfectionism
  • now say something beautiful and true <- litany against irony poisoning

some others i found in the notes

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Not really in the same vein, but i wanna add some great ones.

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This whole post is my current philosophy

“not my circus, not my monkeys” = litany against sticking your nose in uninvited

“play stupid games, win stupid prizes” = litany against taking the consequences of other people’s mistakes

(via celamity)

May 16, 2023

nerianasims:

I haven’t been able to write since Reyna passed away. But the kittensqueak has now decided that she will hang out with me during the day, sunning her floof, in order to help. Not on my feet – which is good, because she is big. In D&D terms, she is actually in the Small category, unlike most cats, who are Tiny. She is over 2 feet long. Female Maine Coon cats are much smaller than their male counterparts, but the sites I found claiming they’re just average cat size are I think mistaken.

Also this one site is claiming female Maine Coons are more aloof and require less attention than males. Unless male Maine Coons require as much attention as a human toddler, I have doubts.

May 16, 2023

I haven’t been able to write since Reyna passed away. But the kittensqueak has now decided that she will hang out with me during the day, sunning her floof, in order to help. Not on my feet – which is good, because she is big. In D&D terms, she is actually in the Small category, unlike most cats, who are Tiny. She is over 2 feet long. Female Maine Coon cats are much smaller than their male counterparts, but the sites I found claiming they’re just average cat size are I think mistaken.

May 15, 2023

rebel-at-heart713:

tiny–cryptid:

OK this question has been bugging me all morning so y'all please let me know

did your childhood vomit bowl also double as a popcorn bowl?

Yes

No

Vomit bowl??? (see results)

bc ours did nd I never thought much of it as a kid but know I’m thinking about it and it feels kinda gross? so pls tell me if this experience was universal or not it will haunt me forever otherwise

We used gallon ice cream buckets for vomit buckets

(via marzipanandminutiae)

May 15, 2023

marzipanandminutiae:

marzipanandminutiae:

Rowena and Ligeia should be in hate-love, I think

haunted by the spectre of your husband’s brilliant first wife (sapphic)

consumed by the spectre of your husband’s brilliant first wife (sapphic)

hatred and resentment and fascination for your husband’s brilliant first wife (so so so gay)

gay readings of Rebecca are common on the Danvers/Rebecca axis (for the movie, at least, where they take out her being a mother-figure to Rebecca)

but I think this archetype of the First Wife Spectre can be gay for the new wife, too. and should. as often as possible

Yeah, Danvers is very much a mother figure to Rebecca. The gay reading is – do what you like, that’s fine, but. I’m uncomfortable how often the “toxic mother figure” trope is read instead as “lesbian,” for a multitude of reasons.

But Rebecca and Mrs. de Winter? It’s right there! Mrs. de Winter is completely and totally besotted with Rebecca. Taken over by her even. Rebecca is such a Gothic hero type, too. I could say this is my headcanon, but it goes far further than that. I think it’s canon.

May 15, 2023

sandersstudies:

Pros of having a brain that makes very fast associations: Good comebacks and jokes.

Cons of having a brain that makes very fast associations: that story about how you broke your foot reminded me of a fun fact about lizards.

(via jabberwockypie)